Until The Un-Bitter End

Vulnerability…a place we can find ourselves- chatting over a cup of coffee with an old foe. A place where false pride is basking in the spotlight of your featured screen play. This is a place where you seem what you are not, and don’t seem what you are.

Fear. Not some fleeting kind of fear (if there is such a thing.) A REAL deep-seeded, actively rooted, realized, however, unwelcome and well-known FOE.


Fear. You know this guy well- you’ve looked deep into his shallow eyes, slapped him across his ugly, dark face and even held him under the water until he was squirming and turning blue.

I once shot fear at close range with a Mossberg 500 Tactical. Shot out his core and watched as his vitals and dark blood oozed out from his mangled center and onto the cement around his lifeless corps. I was sure I had finished him off for good…for all man-kind.

Fear. More than just flesh.  He knows and travels amongst a different plain than us mere mortals.  A terminator of sorts- able to regenerate his vitals.  Vitals regenerated are often of titanium.  You will need more than simple human might to banish this foe.

Fear. That never-ending nuisance.  The villain of all villains. A companion to those who give up the fight. Are you one of those who give in to the battle?

Not me; I press on. Pride, be it false. With diligence renewed…imperfectly perfect until the un-bitter end.

“Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise Him again- my Savior and my God!”  Psalms 42:11

Today, I wrote this post as an expression of an accumulation of thoughts and emotions; Based on my own experiences, as well as my observations of other’s experiences in recent days.  

My message is one of encouragement and vitality.  Fear is a constant which I see drive so many people and entities beyond their thresholds. I find the recognition of fear to be the greatest catalyst- a catalyst which needs much more than our own human wills to overcome.

May God Bless You,






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  1. Right?!! But isn’t that the whole point? It’s not about being perfect over night because there is no real perfection, that’s the illusion. The idea is to learn to let go of the illusion of control without giving up the struggle to be a better person. It all boils down to expectations verses the efforts you put into the results. It’s as if you do nothing then you’ll get a self-fulfilling prophecy and gain nothing. But if you put in any effort you gain despair and frustration because no amount of effort will ever bring you the results you expected. The more effort you do the higher your expectations become for acknowledgment and reward. So both sides create the lack of fulfillment. BUT, if you apply yourself with your best efforts willingly and expect NOTHING for them, then ANYTHING you get is WAY more than you ever expected! It’s not the work or effort that kills joy. It’s the expectations of things going the way you planned. Remember your mind is an organic calculating machine always testing variables for the right solution in everything and it HATES to be wrong. IT HATES IT because it then has to calculate its value as less than expected and this lack of worth brings down the reward system that releases those good chemical feelings that bring joy. Self-worth is tied into how right you are. When you read the Bible you might see words like “Righteousness” and “Sin” and think these equate to good and bad deeds but they DON’T! They mean CORRECTNEES and TO ERR. You got it right or you didn’t, so GOD can forgive SIN because it means a miscalculation. Letting go is the release of the need to be right all the time. You don’t have to make things do what you want. It may not seem like that’s what you are doing when you are let down by yourself or others but you are. There are just so many minor factors that hide that aspect but it all boils down to if you are unhappy it is because you feel like you failed to get things done as your mental machine predicted. No one and nothing will match to precision of what you hope. Somethings may work out better, and then you fell so smart and happy but you still know that wasn’t you. Life is like wrangling cats and the more you try the more upset you become. Life will not bend to your will just as you can not bend to others so easily. So the hardest part is letting go of that illusion of control. Nothing is yours to possess. The best we can do is our best but the fate of everything does not rest solely within our control. You can hope for the best and lament with empathy when things go bad or get hurt… but like children we all have to make our own messes to learn. You can not always shelter them from the truth, after all facing reality in all its wonders is the point and purpose to life. Pain and pleasure create character and resolve. So breath and be hopeful for good things if you like but be open to whatever comes because it is a piece of the teachers teachings you must learn through endurance and faith.

    Liked by 1 person

    • You have no idea how timely your response is! I have these truths in the back of my mind constantly. Then, I have this little guy in a red suit with his little pitchfork sitting on my shoulder. That little guy is telling me how justified my frustrations are and how I must have control. After all, it’s my personality to need this control and for everything to go as I have planned. I get it, but I struggle so greatly with this lack smooth “sailing” as so many plans are constantly and seemingly disrupted. I will focus on actually breathing and being open to future change. If anything is constant, it’s the change which constantly barges in on my hard work to create a steady plan.
      AMEN! Thank you for your shared wisdom, Daniel.


  2. Fear is not real. Danger is real but fear is a choice. In our lessons when you look into that mirror there are your fears and your hopes on each side of the glass. Hope calls you fourth but fear holds you back with doubt. Just as in real life you would never try to enter into the reflection in the glass because your doubt says it’s only an illusion and you would only hurt yourself if you tried. But transcendence can only happen when both sides of the mirror are equal. You can never cross over the threshold until your expectations cease to exceed your hopes. The expression the first shall be last and the last shall be first also refers to a change in priorities where what was once precious is found to be actually your jailer. Fear is the doubt that things will not resolve as hoped and so we fear to lose what we most hold dear. Control is an illusion. Control is the product of fear. Control is Egypt. Control is Cain. Control is the choice between Barabbas and Christ. Chose freedom or a slave? The cross is the stepping through the mirror by giving up the illusion of control and surrendering to fear. Letting go is the hardest part.

    Liked by 1 person

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