IT IS different, now.
Writing is difficult when you don’t know what to say- you’re happy, you’re strong, you’re devastated and you’re somehow at ease (more often than not.)
The thought of defeat- through the varying channels defeat likes to travel- is constantly being pushed to the outer realms of your thoughts. Fleeting glimpses of guilt- but then again, there’s no reason to feel guilt- it’s just one of those defeating kind of thoughts dressed up in different words.
If writing is your solace, then why stop when you need it the most?
It’s simple. The words are jammed up and unwilling to flow from your fingers to the screen. Don’t let the compounding guilt sneak in, though, or you may not be writing again for a very long time.
This is were you [can] separate the untruths from the truths. THE TRUTHS WILL SHINE THROUGH WITH STRENGTH OF HEART; When your realize your perspective is not what it used to be. It is not taken from the top news story- nor is it taken completely from your past.
This perspective is God’s. It’s one we can’t dictate or decide all on our own. You want the control to decide what means what? One day you’ll start to see, after all of your trials, so many instances which put you through so much strife…well, they turned out completely and miraculously brilliant- Not quite what you had imagined.
THIS is my life and the state of my heart.
About 1 week ago, I turned 39- old to some; young to others. What I have learned is: Not to allow the dark to sneak in and fill my heart with anxiety and guilt and sorrow. This, too, will pass- both good and bad. No need to “figure” IT out.
Too many years, I’ve spent guessing what’s next. Too many years I’ve been too wise- my “educated guesses” were just huge pits of quicksand keeping me from the freedom God promises. TOO MANY.
I LOVE this blog and this blog is where I can lay down my lessons learned.
Lessons learned which I hope others may be able to avoid. But I know this to be true: IT’s the human condition- we “know” way too much, so we end up learning what we need to learn, no matter what.
I’ve read many verses in recent days which point in the direction of God’s perspective and how it is not my perspective until I become more and more aligned with His Kingdom and His Ways. I’ll end with a passage which runs through my mind often: