Yes, a patch of briars, or thorns. A weary few days. My peace shattered, leaving me pushing even harder only to be greeted with more thorns. This is life and I’m not so good at accepting discord. I’ve been grumbling to God and unable to write… Until this evening. I don’t like to write negatively. Tonight, I’ve decided, maybe it’s time to let the ugly roll and shine some light on this burden.
I’ve been taking a lot of pictures in the absence of writing- trying to find some beauty somewhere in this muck I’ve fallen into. Even though I’ve been avoiding a full repentance for my stubborn state, God has faithfully shown me He is right there with me. Why is it so hard for me to trust? To let go of my fear? One thing is clear: I am not alone.
Do you ever feel like you are exhausted? You just want people, and life in general, to fall in line with your agenda?
Have you ever asked God why He placed you in the situations you don’t feel adequate to be in? A job given to you that is not at all what you feel qualified to execute?
That’s where I am. Dizzy and unbalanced as I struggle to fight the Will of God- knowing fully the real truth, yet refusing to accept it. This all reminds me of the apostle Paul’s struggle regarding “The Law and Sin” in Romans 7:13-25.
“I find then a law, that evil is present with me, the one who wills to do good. For I delight in the law of God according to the inward man. But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members.” Romans 7:21-23
However diffictiult and frustrating this struggle, the light of the Lord is still burning in my heart and soul.
“O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? I thank God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!So then, with the mind I myself serve the law of God, but with the flesh the law of sin.” Romans 7:24-25
As I write this evening, I am comforted knowing my struggles are not random or original. I can rest, knowing I am His daughter. No matter what, because I believe in Christ Jesus, I am forever bound by His Promises. Romans 8 goes on to explain “Life Through the Spirit” and the first two verses provide resolve to the scary sinful nature I wish I didn’t have.
“There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death.” Romans 8:1-2
Dear Father, Thank you for the emmense grace You have given through Your Son, so that despite human sinful nature, You do not condemn Your children- instead, You cleanse. I pray for Your Truth to carry me and those who are facing these same struggles- to open the eyes of our hearts to see past them and to live with eternity as our purpose. Lord, I love you deeply and I praise You for Your unending Love and Forgiveness!
In Jesus’ Precious Name, Amen