Hello! Welcome to one of my most controversial posts yet: strait from the depths of my soul to this blog screen. I do recall introducing this blog a journey to a BEAUTIFUL HEART, filled with the true love only God can produce. Today, I take you on a leg of the journey that is not the most comfortable for me to get out into the open, however, in keeping true to sharing my experience, I feel the need to proceed.
My prayer has been consistent: “Lord, please reveal to me that which hinders my growth and relationship with You. Please show me the areas in my life which need cleansing; the areas where I have become desensitized to YOUR definitions of how I should be living in order to GLORIFY YOUR KINGDOM, Lord.”
In other words, culture and society have a way of creating false guidelines for morality. As time passes, this lack of moral character within culture and media, seeps into the psyches of those who are exposed.
This realization has been a lingering thought of mine for many years, however, I have not ALLOWED myself to truly see the truth. The truth means I am going against my culture, the mindset of the masses, the flow. Against The Flow. I am angry at this flow of lewdness. The sight, realization and acknowledgment of the truth means I have to realign my behaviors. I feel like I’m being condemned for my conviction by my own culture- suddenly I’m the minority. In America, land of the free, as a Christian- I’m having to “come out of the closet” with a moral stance that’s no longer widely accepted! This is not right.
Sadly, my little blog is no contender in this game. My blog is also not a condemner in this game. I do however feel the strong need to voice the truth. The Truth IS GOD. I won’t back down, as I asked for the truth and it came in the form conviction upon my heart.
Speaking from experience, I can tell you some truthful observations from my own life:
WAKE UP CALL #1: Porn is an addiction that plagues. The media sensationalizes the crude and starkly underdressed human stereotypes, desensitizing boys and girls, men and women beginning at very young ages. Via scanty commercials, billboards, popular brands, even popular burger chains!… etc…SEX SALES!!! I was a pawn in that winning marketing strategy for many years. It’s encrypted in my genetic makeup! I participate without a second thought- it’s like breathing- it’s a natural inclination! AND HEAR THIS- Porn isn’t just for boys anymore (encase you didn’t already know this.) The porn addict classes are always geared at the men…I shake my head….NOPE, this ain’t right. It’s SICK. It makes God Sick.
WAKE UP CALL #2: Where you hang out (be it online, at school, at home,etc) so there is your heart. Do you like to laugh? I do! DO you find it funny- sometimes hilarious- when you hear a really good joke? You know, the kind with cuss words, belittling people, about “fat” or “ugly” people, “stupid” people, etc? You hear them all the time- so what’s the harm? The people who are the brunt of the joke have got to have a sense of humor, too, right? It’s just a joke! …WRONG. It’s not just a joke. It’s something I’ve participated in enough to be sitting here- right now- with the largest knot in my stomach and the urge to vomit profusely. It is a form of slander and disrespect to GOD. HE MADE THESE PEOPLE. People commit suicide over these jokes. Then what does that make the joker and his/her audience? That’s right! Murderers.
WAKE UP CALL #3: I am going to make this one gentle, since I just accused myself, and many others, of being murderers. THE FIXATION on SELF. Be happy! Do whatever you have to do to be happy! Watch your SELF (your own back) because no one else will do it for you. I AM NUMBER ONE….I must look at myself in the mirror every morning and tell mySELF I am Beautiful- I am IN CONTROL! I MUST DO ANYTHING I CAN FOR MYSELF SO I CAN BE HAPPY! Happy little ME! Yay for ME!!!! Look at me! Look at how many “followers” I have! I don’t care if that guy is a porn star Satan worshiping king alcoholic that goes against every moral I’ve ever known….I must have followers and I must follow! I can’t afford to buy dinner for a week, but that Louis V…I have to have it! I will get it- oh and a new pair of heels (I’ll wear them for half an evening until the blisters are so bad, I am running around bare-foot) because I am feeling sad and I NEED them to make me HAPPY….for a few hours, until I’m miserable again. Yes, this “ME” affliction is also in my genetic makeup!
I am, by nature, pretty soft spoken until I get ragin’ angry… That is OK in this case, though. As long as I do not act out in a way that would disgrace God. I have some work to do. So do many people. The point is to WAKE UP! If you are AWAKE, you can be forgiven and move towards the life God intended for you. For me. Conviction IS NOT EASY! Being aware, praying, changing my view- all pieces to beautiful heart I am seeking.
Lord, Continue to purify our hearts to be aligned with the beautiful love and purpose you have for us. Open our eyes and remove our fear of going against the flow of our culture and society. Forgive us, Father and bless us with your strength and wisdom to do what You put in our hearts, which is true and right. In Jesus’ Precious Name, Amen