These are the things this little girl is made of! As I’ve grown up, I’ve added espresso with a dash of extra heavy whipping cream, New York style pizza, and sushi to my lists. Out of all the dreams I’ve ever had, though, laughter has always been an important component- I have always had a journal, as a well…
I was in third grade when I met Jesus and asked him to come into my heart. Finally, I had a “keeper” who I knew would walk with me and hold me through the times when no laughter could be found. My keeper, who I knew, would bring me laughter and dreamy walks (and cartwheels) through beautiful fields of flowers. (Isaiah 43:7)
Never again would I have to be alone or in the darkness.
Let’s travel in time- oh, I’m guess 100 years or so…haha just kidding! Ok let’s travel ahead from my dreams of childhood to about a decade or so later. I need to pause and breathe for a moment- the times are starkly different than the daydreams from above; it’s called life (scary Jaws music in the background….)
LIFE. Awkwardly horrific through my teens and twenties. By the time I had my first child, I was 27 years old and my frilly pink dress was in shreds- BUT I still had Jesus. Huge growth in my understanding occurred in the 2 1/2 years before I had my second child and “Shredded Frilly Pink Dress” was no longer wearable- My Redeemer, Jesus was still right there with me, however.
My childhood dreams still faintly in tack, Jesus carried me though some more. I wondered what was happening; why was life so hard? Where was the dream I felt so entitled to? Why am I here? I DON’T belong HERE! I realize that ugliness, the face of evil: they look nothing like the beautiful fields of flowers. I fall to the ground in utter disbelief and despair. I call for my Lord. It’s so dark and I can’t see Him…but deep in my heart I can feel His light glowing– deep inside my heart. (Acts 2:21)
Exhaustion sets in and I begin to stumble further away from the beautiful flowers and wake to find the darkness is settling around me, but the light deep in my heart beckons me on a pathway out. It’s a pathway like one from a mystical movie where the trees talk and try to grab you as you pass through.
The dark forest. It attempted to steal what I had left of my tattered frilly pink dress. My laugher was still tucked safely in with the light of my Jesus- deep in my heart. The dark forest didn’t have the powers needed to reach deep into my fiercely guarded heart- for it was being guarded by The Ruler of all that is good and the One who even commands the dark. (Isaiah 54: 16-17)
Forward just a few years: I step out into a sunny meadow! I can feel the light of my Lord envelope my whole body in light and warmth. He wraps His light and warmth around my two children, binding them in close to me in His protection and love. We are renewed with His strength for the next stretch of forest. As I thank Him for His Grace, I look across the meadow to see my children running through the beautiful flowers, laughing and playing in beauty and innocence. I am reminded of who I am called to be. (Isaiah 54: 6-8)
One more treacherous yet beautiful journey brings me to the present.
My Jesus knew how much I loved my frilly pink dress; he gave me an elegant white dress and one of his very own soldiers here on earth to be my husband. He also gave me one more innocent and beautiful child that fits perfectly in age between my two. (Isaiah 54: 11-13)
The light of my Lord that is deep in heart has been made so bright over the years! It’s a light I pray radiates to others.
The journey is unending until the day the Lord comes to finish the battle and redeem His precious flock. Until that day comes, I will hold close to the blessings of beautiful flowers, laughter and my, now white, frilly dress That My LORD has given me as I walk through this dark forest, (which is not my home.)
“The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters. He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousnessFor His name’s sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You anoint my head with oil; My cup runs over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me All the days of my life; And I will dwell in the house of the Lord Forever.” Psalm 23:1-6 (NKJV)
So Very Blessed,