It’s been a couple of months since I wrote “part one” of this particularly humiliating post. God has been at work in my life since the actual penning of the following:
Transparency is not my best trait- I’m extremely critical of my own heart- I’m learning to let the lessons God teaches to me be a testimony of His Amazing Love and Mercy. I dare not (sit back and) allow His Work be in vain.
In my last post (Part One) I began to describe an event which allowed me to see and feel God’s Grace like never before. Heavy dust was settling and so was the guilt. I had exposed some very ugly truths about myself. At the time, I was terrified of God because I couldn’t imagine He was anything other than furious at me for my disgraceful words and actions towards Him.
Here was His reply to my relentless pleads for His forgiveness:
“For His anger lasts only a moment, but His favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.” Psalm 30:5
WHAT AN AMAZING AND MERCIFUL FATHER! Now, I will strive be extremely transparent with my faith and share my heart in the hope that my stubborn lack of faith and trust might be a lesson learned. In my lowest moments I couldn’t imagine anyone having the ability to understand my humiliation and intense feelings of disgrace. I felt so very alone. Agony.
My prayer, as I write this, is that my testimony and lessons from God might be a comfort and an encouragement to someone experiencing similar trials.
Looking back, I rejoice! That pain has brought me to a new and fresh relationship with my Father. That pain has brought me a new kind of peace. I’m not saying I’m not experiencing trials on a constant basis- that would mean I’m writing this post from Heaven. One fact to never take lightly: The devil is always going to be on the prowl as long as this world is still limping to it’s finish. The Full Armor of God is a MUST.
“Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.” -Ephesians 6:11
When going through bitter trials, peace and joy can seem so unattainable and unimaginable (even to a person who desperately wants to be able to smile for just one minute.) That’s my experience, anyway.
May God bless you with His Peace that absolutely surpasses your understanding!